what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
