it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
