They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
