Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
