i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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