Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
