Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
