his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
