yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
