If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
