okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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