had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
