haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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