So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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