Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
