I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
