this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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