you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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