I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
