Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
