i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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