O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
