Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
