this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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