HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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