so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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