she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
