I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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