And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
