Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
