glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
