Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
