Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
