Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
