we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize