I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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