my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
