I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
