She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This house was built for laser tag.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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