The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
