My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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