I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They are going to name an STD after you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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