I'm gonna have a badass scar
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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