I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
