So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
