are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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