You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize