No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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