PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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