But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
