He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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