I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
