i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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