Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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