Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
