I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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