hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
