brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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