Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize