I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
