Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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