i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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